"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
