Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize