Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
