It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
