...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
well you can't waste a boner
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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