I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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