I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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