I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize