i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
