RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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