She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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