You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.