thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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