How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?