Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?