Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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