adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They have beer where we have blood.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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