Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
