On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
