I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
