After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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