My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
