i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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