So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
