Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
