I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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