in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize