Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
