After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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