ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
