I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
