Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
