Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
