We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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