Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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