Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize