thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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