I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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