I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
