Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
