We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
