I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize