Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
