Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
