I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
