Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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