I think im going to throw up on grandma
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A+ Viking dick
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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