He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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