I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?