How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.