Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.