he shaved USA in his pubs
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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