come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
can u get pink eye on your cock?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
