I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
