Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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