OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
