Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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