Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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