Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
